The past school year has been intense (see lack of posts here for months and months as partial evidence).  Now that it’s summer, I’ve decided to get healthier.  It’s a multi-pronged approach:

1. Food: I eat Whole30 most of the time (google for more info) – it works for me.

2. Exercise: re-starting after a long time off – I have nowhere to go but up, eeps!

3. Massage therapy: releasing muscle and emotional tension all in one go.

4. Talk therapy: I haven’t talked about what I’ve been going through, so I’m back to the therapist to discuss it all

5. Naturopathic physician: taking care of health issues in a natural way.  A great new way to deal with the physical side of health.

6. Fun.  What’s that???!!  The girls and I are playing, swimming, and doing a kids’ comedy version of Hamlet for the local Shakespeare in the Park group.  Have you ever thought of Hamlet as slapstick?  No?  Oh you HAVE been missing out.

Thanks to blogger Jet Black for inspiration to just post, regardless of whether I actually feel inspired to do so.  It always feels good once I’ve hit the Post button.

tennant-recorder-2_786136iThis is not, obviously, the cast of my local theatre group’s This Is Hamlet – but I just had to post this picture, because, the 10th Doctor, I mean really.

Lotsa love to the bloggy folks who read here and to those I’m following.




I’m reconnecting with several bloggy friends and so am sending out a general greeting for the summer to all who follow me and to those who love to blog and read blogs.

The summer, for me, started out to be all about a serious project to get into shape.  School-year stressors this past year have left me a bit more out of shape than I’d like.

But hanging out with my children has changed my mind – it’s going to be the summer to play!  It’s all about playing as a way to find motion, creativity, health, and fun.  Looking forward to it so much.  I’ve been racing my daughters (and losing), climbing on the playground with them, and generally learning about how to find fun wherever you are.

So wise, the young ones.


Bacon – this is something I can do something about.  Very specifically, I plan to cook it for breakfast.  I plan to serve it with egg salad (made with my homemade mayonnaise) on toast.  I expect rave reviews from all and sundry.  “All” being one child and “sundry” being the other, natch.

The triggers I wrote about and have been thinking about recently – not always something I can do anything about.  I’d love to cook them up, serve them up, and hand out antacids to deal with the results.  But it does seem that there are some things in my immediate experience that take me back to a much younger time in my life, and that trigger a whole chain of memories and trained responses to those memories.  The combination of paralysis, anxiety, and a desperate urge to do absolutely anything to keep the peace, doesn’t serve me very well these days.  So I do nothing, and wait for inspiration.  Meanwhile, I have a vague understanding that what I’m going through is because of the current experience PLUS old memories resurfacing.  This doesn’t help me much, though, because that awareness does not bring me back to the present and the capacity to think clearly about the current experience.

So I’m glad for the awareness, because at least I can then have compassion for myself in that moment.  I’m glad that I don’t have to do anything in particular very quickly right now.  I’m glad that I’m learning to think for myself.

So bacon is kind of a bigger deal than the lovely breakfast I’m planning for tomorrow morning.  It’s a sign that I can, indeed, focus on the practical, real, down-to-earth, parts of my life.  It’s a sign that I’m not completely at the mercy of the experiences (current and in memory) that whip me around and around and leave me too exhausted to do more than the very basics.

I still don’t know how to deal with the situations that keep triggering old, very unhappy feelings – and my belief that those situations are not going to go away for a very long time.  But I do know that I don’t have to do anything in particular today, except to breathe and be kind to myself – and fix bacon for breakfast.  It’s a start.




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